I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize