I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
