guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
