There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize