She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
