just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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