No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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