This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
