we have officially lost it.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
