i just wanna soil my oats bro
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
