If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize