He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
