Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.

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(807): View more from Ontario

yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd

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(561): View more from Florida

This is the prime rib incident all over again

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(520): View more from Arizona

Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes

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(419): View more from Ohio

Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"

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