there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
