Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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