i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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