I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She's the barista slut.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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