so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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