it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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