I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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