I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I think my moral compass just broke
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
