I love black thongs
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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