If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
