yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
