Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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