puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
