Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I am mentally ready for anal.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
