hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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