woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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