so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
