Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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