But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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