3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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