What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
