That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
