I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
