I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
