Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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