The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
