I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
