My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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