You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
