Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Farmville is her only friend.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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