Please, let me fuck your mom
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
