do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
