I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
