Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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