I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
