I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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