i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
