I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
