the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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