just tell him i said nine months
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
