I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
