dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Welp...herpes.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
