i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
