I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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