We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
