how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
