I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
