3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
